Active Writing Exercise
These stories were published originally in 2021. But they still provide good examples of bad writing.
You can find the information about active writing here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1DC8FfrshBWElg2tpYVjHNdJCY7qyNhNd?usp=sharing
This is not a quiz. You will not be graded. Do your best. Please put your work in the Google Drive: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1DC8FfrshBWElg2tpYVjHNdJCY7qyNhNd?usp=sharing
- This paragraph is from the Daily News. Use the active voice to make it better. You can break it up into more than one or two sentences.
The Empire State is one step closer to approving adult use marijuana after Gov. Cuomo released an amended version of his pot proposal Tuesday that would reduce criminal penalties for illegal sales, outlines how some of the tax revenue would be spent and allows for the delivery of cannabis products.
- This is from Vice. Use the active voice to make it better.
At least 2.3 million women have been forced from the workforce during the pandemic, many due to closed schools and a lack of child care.
So after one Ohio mother was arrested on charges of child endangerment for allegedly leaving her young kids in a motel room while she tried to go to her job at Little Caesars, sympathetic people rallied to support her.
- This is from me. Take out the clunky words and phrases and use the active voice to explain the problem.
Currently my boss won’t give me the extra money he promised and I really need the money and the job due to COVID and due to the fact that there are so few jobs available.
- From the New York Post. Use the active voice and rewrite the story.
Ryan Leaf is calling for the NFL to do more for retired players in the wake of Vincent Jackson’s death.
Jackson, 38, was found dead in a Florida hotel room by a housekeeper on Monday morning. There were no apparent signs of trauma, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.
Police are investigating and a cause of death has yet to be determined by the county medical examiner.
- This is from the New York Times. Use the active voice to rewrite it.
ALBANY, N.Y. — Admitting a degree of fault for the first time, Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo said on Monday that his administration’s lack of transparency about the scope of coronavirus-related deaths in nursing homes in New York was a mistake.